A Woman's Guide To Saner Living

Did you hear the one about...................

My husband works at Emerson School and every day around 2:45 pm he joins some of his colleagues at curbside to herd the children safely to their respective rides home.  He has dubbed Wednesday, "Wacky Wednesday" when he brings out his joke book (to the groans of the kids, I imagine) and tells them jokes. My husband, naturally good-natured, is the kind of guy who can pull a joke out of a hat like a gunslinger can draw his gun on a dusty street at high noon, ready to slay the bad guy. 

It turns out, that laughter, can slay the bad guy of stress.  Laughter relaxes the whole body, boosts the immune system, triggers the release of endorphins and protects the heart.  Norman Cousins did the first non-scientific study on this in the 1970's, when he watched funny movies and TV shows, to combat the effect of an autoimmune disease.  He figured that if stress could worsen his disease then laughter may cure it.  Since then, research has shown that laughter is good for you!  So go ahead, laugh your head off, it's good medicine!

Feeling a little tender-hearted this Valentine's day?

As Valentine day approaches, there is a boatload of hurt, scared, angry people, floating around looking for a safe place to land, who’ve been burned by love, lost someone dear or in such conflict with those around them that love seems like the stupidest idea ever.

Now what's become of the broken-hearted
Who had love that's now departed?
I know I've got to find
Some kind of peace of mind
I'll be searching everywhere
Just to find someone to care.
I'll be looking everyday
I know I'm gonna find a way
Nothings gonna stop me now
I'll find a way somehow
I'll be searching everywhere………….

God love the Funk brothers and Motown for this poignant song about love lost and its seismic aftereffects, sprinkled with a dash of hope.

Who hasn’t experienced a broken heart?  I know I have had my share of times when my heart felt it would burst wide open with hurt, leaving me gasping for breath and despair of repair.  These times were accompanied by loneliness as vast and unfathomable, as a space voyage to mars. Yet here I stand loved and as happy as a clam who has avoided, for one more day, the scoop of a clam digger looking for a good meal.

The great thing about life, with all its ups and down, fears and scares, hopes and dreams is that heart break, loneliness and other life travails are transient and repairable.  Sure, it takes work and perspective and tons of support, but it  need not be a life sentence.

If this Valentine’s day has lost it’s meaning for you, know that that it’s okay.  It is only one Valentine’s day out of your lifetime of Valentine’s days.  Only one.  If you need to cry, then cry.  If you need to be angry, be angry.  If you need to feel discouraged, then do so.  The challenge is to not stay in this hard place.  Work the feelings around by talking with someone you trust, journal, exercise, manage your anxiety, give to others.

The heart is an amazing organ, beating steadily even during tough times.  I, for one, feel a wealth of gratitude for the steady reassuring beating of my heart this Valentine’s day.

 

Change your life for 27¢

Do you ever feel overwhelmed, so that even the simplest tasks seem monumental? Do you put things off because they seem too difficult?  Do you tell yourself you will never get what you really want out of life? A client of mine recently told me a story about a small home repair that, to her, seemed monumental.  Her front door knob was broken and needed fixing.  Every time she went through the door she grabbed a screw driver, placed it in the broken knob and turned it to open the door so she could leave her house and go about her day.  Her brain had created a story about, not only the presumed difficulty of the repair, but that it would be quite expensive.  She imagined she would have to hire a handy man, and take time off of work to be there for the repair.  Money was very tight, so she was quite upset that she would have to spend money she didn't have as well as lose money by having to take time off work.  She delayed and delayed the project, so that every time she had to leave her house, the 'door knob repair movie' started playing in her head, in color and with rolling credits.  You can imagine how high her stress level was before she even started her car.  One day she said the heck with it, took the broken door knob parts to Stadium Hardware and for 27 cents  got the needed parts with instructions from the helpful hardware guy.  She went home and in a short time fixed the door knob.  My client looked at me and said, "Chris all it took was 27 cents and I have lived with this stress and anxiety for a long time."  We looked at each other and began to laugh with delight about her discovery of the key for a simpler less stressful life.  She turned a four-step process of getting out of her house into a one-step process. She tamed her anxiety gremlins, putting them in storage.  She simplified her life for a mere 27 cents.    We discussed the value of living life the 27 cent way.  My client vowed to live her life the 27 cent way from now on.  She is going to put post-it notes that say 27 cents where she can see them throughout her day to remind her of this change.

What changes can you make to live your life the 27 cent way?  Banish your anxiety gremlins by identifying the fear behind the worry, centering yourself with deep breathing exercises and taking action.  If you want a movie running in your head, I say make it a joyous peaceful one rather than an action packed horror movie.

graphic: c. wucherer, ©2010