Do you have a grievance story? You know, the story that runs around and around in your head about old hurts and old transgressions. Or perhaps, you have more than one grievance story that loops around inside your brain like a roller coaster on steroids. It's not unusual to have more than one grievance story, as life can be long and treacherous. Disappointments and aggravations can trip you up, like a branch fallen across a seemingly beautiful and peaceful path in the woods. Grievance stories can take on a life of their own, developing into full blown screenplays, using plot devices and unsavory characters to further highlight all the ways a person or situation negatively impacted your life.
"I can't believe she did that to me."
"If only my parents weren't alcoholics."
"My partner had an affair and I will never forgive him/her."
"The economy is ruining my Christmas."
"I got passed over for a promotion, again."
"My ex is a jerk."
"I don't know why I had to get sick."
Get the picture? Grievance stores are a boatload of negative energy and fuel for anger, anxiety and depression. Grievance stories have the potential to ignite old stresses and tensions during the holiday season when expectations run high for storybook family and friendship gatherings. This is a real downer and in my experience most people, despite the hurts and negative energy, truly want a happy life and joyous holidays.
So, what can you do about it? Plenty!
Here are some Saner Living Tips to let go of your grievance stories:
When the grievance story starts tell it to stop, hit the road, leave town, it's not wanted anymore.
Take the grief out of grievance and grieve your losses, so you can let go of the past. It's over. Gone. Fini.
Recognize that at this point you are contributing to your own unhappiness by hanging on to the past.
Understand and work with the idea that the only person you can change is yourself.
Create a holiday season that feels right and good for you.
If you are feeling sorry for yourself - stop it.
Life is a series of challenges and it's what we do with these challenges that matters.
blog image: chris wucherer©
