Stay in your driver's seat this holiday season

The cusp of the holiday season is looming like a mac truck careening down the road, with some crazed driver behind the wheel, forcing us to drive faster and faster to avoid being overtaken.  Another way to avoid being overcome by this force on wheels is to weave from lane to lane to avoid collision, but this creates exhaustion, a sense of futility and a loss of control.  Halloween is barely over, there is candy to eat, pumpkins to put away and trick or treat memories to absorb, so they can be pulled out in some imagined future, "Do you remember when you dressed up as.........., that was so much fun," as a way to create life continuity. 

This morning's newspaper has stories about the stress of retailers to make their 'nut', or they MIGHT GO OUT OF BUSINESS.  The ads are starting for THE BEST DEAL, which can create anxiety, because what if the next BEST DEAL, is a better BEST DEAL.  The pull to focus on the Christmas/Hanukkah season is so intense that Thanksgiving can seem like a mere stepping stone to the BIG AFTER THANKSGIVING DAY SALE.  After all we must be ready for Christmas/Hanukkah at all costs. 

There is a saner way to 'BE' during the holiday season.  Put yourself in the driver's seat of your life by asking yourself, "What do I really want from the holidays?" "What is most important to me?"  It is sad to think of people being so frazzled by shoulds, musts, and 'we always did it this way' thinking that their own essential comforts and desires are left unmet.  It is possible to meet self-needs and the needs of others all at the same time.  It's not bad, just different. 

Here are some saner living tips to stay true to you during this crazy time:

                       

• Stay away from All or Nothing thinking
• Resist  agreeing to do something to avoid hurting someone's feelings
• Make a list of what you want personally and from your family and friends from the holiday season
• Make a list of how you want be with and give to the people you care about
• Be considerate of other's needs
• Develop awareness of  holiday 'shoulds'
• Remember there is no 'right way' to have a holiday
• Communicate your needs with heartfelt 'I' statements
• Take care of yourself the best you can, physically, spiritually and emotionally

If you play/work with these tips you can develop your own recipe for being in the driver's seat of your life this holiday season.  Me?  I'm going to be in a bright red car that will come when I call for it.  There will be a steaming hot cup of coffee in a cup holder, music playing and a GPS system that takes me to the desires of my heart.  The GPS is programmed with my needs and desires.  My car is sturdy enough to keep the ride smooth and quiet during turbulent, noisy routes.  It does not veer off my programmed route to detour through BEST DEALS, OTHER PEOPLE'S UNREASONABLE NEEDS or WE'VE ALWAYS DONE IT LIKE THIS.

If you start being proactive now, this could be a terrific holiday season for you and that would be delicious!

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graphic: chris wucherer©