Let's face it, communication can be messy business. Putting thoughts, feelings and ideas into words and then communicating those words with an appropriate tone is not as easy as it seems. Throw in non-verbal behavior and we have quite a cocktail for misunderstanding, confusion and over-reaction. When the topic is emotionally laden, the odds increase for misunderstanding and conflict. A good strategy to use is a Do-Over. A Do-Over is simply that, all parties agree to re-start the segment of the conversation that did not go well.
"That hurt my feelings, I would like a do-over".
"This conversation got off on the wrong foot, let's start over".
"I didn't mean to say it that way, let me try again"
"This conversation got off on the wrong foot, let's start over".
"I didn't mean to say it that way, let me try again"
In most situations, each party is doing their best to communicate and be heard. At times we can all get caught up in the need to be right, to need control, to vent our stress inappropriately, etc. In situations like this, try and let go of the need to blame the other person for mis-communicating and go for a do-over. We all want to be heard and validated. It is possible to really hear what the other person is saying and to validate their thoughts and feelings, while holding onto our own perspective. With practice people learn from each other and often modify their position.
