A Woman's Guide To Saner Living

Sprinkle Sparkles For A Joyous Life!

This sun sprinkled view of Lake Michigan reminds me of the importance of spreading joy.  The sparkles of twilight sun spread across the water, twinkling as the day draws to a close.   It fills me with joy.  Sprinkling other people's lives with sparkles of friendship, caring, humor, kindness and positivity, in general, is contagious.  It is a powerful antidote to depression, negativity and an over-focus on the self.
 

Sprinkle your Sparkles for a Saner Life!

photo by: Chris Wucherer, July 11, 2009 Manistee, MI
copyright protected

Hanging Out or Hanging On??

photo by: chris wucherer

What You See Is What You Get

Every Easter, we have a candy hunt for our grand-kids.  We hide candy throughout the main rooms of our house and they have a blast finding these treasures and depositing them on the dining room table, where Grandpa will redistribute them into even stashes.  We don't want any hurt feelings that the bigger kids 'found more' candy than the little ones.  An unexpected  part of this fun family event is to find candy throughout the year that the grand-kids missed in their quest to find the most candy.  As you can see in the photo above, there is a lone foil-wrapped chocolate egg sitting on the window sill, waiting to be noticed.  The interesting thing is that either my husband or I opened and closed the window shades every day for two months, until at last I spied the tasty morsel sitting there, plain as day.  I was astounded that one of us hadn't noticed it before.

It got me thinking about how much I must miss everyday because I am distracted, rushed, feeling negative or single-minded in my focus.  I felt a little sad that there are so many possibilities, perhaps staring me right in the face, like the Easter candy, that I don't see and therefore don't acknowledge.   I wonder where these discoveries or alternative paths would lead me.  So, I have recommitted to be more mindful as I go about my life and hope that this purposeful openness allows me to see new possibilities, go down new paths and explore the unknown. 

How about you? 

photos by: chris wucherer

Purpose Schmurpus

What's all the hoopla about life purpose anyway?  Lately, I have been thinking about what it means to live a purposeful life.  How do people really think about life purpose?  What makes it difficult to live a purposeful life?  If it's really important to know our life purpose, why is is hard for most of us to know what our life purpose is and why is it hard to stay focused on creating a life of purpose?

Dictionary.com defines purpose as the reason for which something exists, to set an an aim, intention or goal for oneself.  Maybe we exist because we can and once we climb into our existence then we have an opportunity to discover our strengths, weaknesses, desires, temperament and a whole host of other personal qualities.  These qualities are the ingredients to stir around within us as a recipe to finding our life purpose.  This purpose can take us on the path of setting intentions or goals that will lead us to where we want to go in life.

These are my musings on life purpose.  What are your thoughts on the subject?  Use the comment button below to muse away!

graphic by: chris wucherer

Do You Feel Older Or Younger Than Your Age?

 Let's face it sometimes we all feel older than we really are, weighed down by the challenges of the times or specific moments of our lives.  And, other times we say, "I know I'm fifty or sixty (or whatever age we are), but I don't feel it.  I feel like I'm in my twenties!"  Wouldn't it be great to get a handle on your Real Age?  Dr. Oz and Dr Rozen have a fantastic website called RealAge.com,where you can take a test to determine your Real Age.  I was delighted to find that my Real Age is two years younger than my chronological age.  I also learned somethings that I can do to reduce my Real Age even more.  The site has other nifty tools such as a menu planner, a walking tracker and much more.  It's a great tool to help you live a saner life. Check it out at RealAge.com and let me know what you discover about yourself and how it leads to Saner Living.

graphic by: chris wucherer

Brain Spam

What  spam is in your brain?  At a recent conference on Cognitive Therapy the presenter said that on average people have 60,000 unwanted thoughts per day.  That's a heck of a lot of brain spam, folks.  Brain spam can hijack your life by distracting you from your core self and core beliefs.  Brain spam also drains us of vital positive life energy.  The good news is that you can build your own personal firewall to block unwanted brain spam.  Remind yourself that thoughts aren't facts and that in most cases your perception of an event is more important than the event itself.

Antidotes to brain spam:

1. Assertiveness
2. Anger management
3. Problem solving
4. Acceptance
5. Hope
6. Faith
7. Exercise, physical and mental
8. Replace can't or never with may or can
9. Turn shame and blame to regret
10. Identify your strengths

graphic by: chris wucherer

Men and Women's Brains

The I Do List

I sat listening to a client* talk about the stress and tension she felt trying to manage her 'To Do List'.  She talked about the frustration of never 'being done' and shared feelings of loss of control over her own life. She described disappointment with the people in her life, how they were letting her down.  I asked her what she wanted for herself and without missing a beat words tumbled out of her mouth describing in delicious detail the desires and wants that were essential for her well-being, which she kept locked up in the world behind her eyes.   I said, "It seems that you have a 'To Do List' for tasks and a 'You Do List' for others, but what about an 'I Do List'?"  She asked, "What is an I Do List?"  "Well," I said, "An 'I Do List' is a list of things that are essential to your well-being.  Things that are essential for your emotional, physical and spiritual health.  Look," I said, "When we outsource our happiness to others, we become the source of our own suffering.  When we steadfastly put others first and don't allow ourselves to do essential life-sustaining things that we know are important for our well-being and happiness, we are the source of our own suffering.  The good news is that we have the remedy."  Her spirit seemed to lift as we discussed this in more detail.

The simple I DO LIST REMEDY:

1. Make a list of your wants, needs and desires.
2. Put your list in various places, so it frequently catches your eye .
3. Put your  'I' time on your calender as an appointment that is as important as a doctor's appointment, a child's soccer game, or chemotherapy.
4. Remember the only person you can control is yourself.
5. Enjoy becoming the person you are meant to be.

*Although the inspiration for the 'I Do List' came to me while meeting with a particular client, the description of portions of that meeting is a composite of many clients.

Share your thoughts about an 'I Do List' and the impact your 'I Do List' is having on your life, by clicking the Comment button below.

Over-saying yes to others is under-saying yes to yourself

I DO LIST image designer:  Marty Somberg

Not for reproduction, copyright, April, 2009

A Primer On Positivity

Dr. Barbara Fredrickson gives you the lab-tested tools necessary to create a healthier, more vibrant, and flourishing life. http://www.positivityratio.com/index.php

Self-Commitment Reminder

I was talking with a friend over the weekend who told me a neat story of how she reminds herself of the importance of self-care.  During the process of a difficult marital break-up, she became aware of just how much she put herself on the back burner for the duration of the relationship.  "I supported him in all ways"' she said.  "I put my needs last."  She realized how important it was to have herself as completely in the equation of her life as possible.  She resolved to do this and as a gift to herself she used a portion of the divorce settlement money to buy  a ring, which she wears daily, as a reminder that her needs, wants and desires matter, and that all relationships forward will be in the right balance.  I thought this was ingenious and touching. 
 

What reminder do you have in your life that you connect with daily, to help you stay in the right balance?

Click on the Comment button below to share your self-care reminder!